just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
