just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Alive.
So much puke
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
