apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
