i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
