I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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