What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
