Will you blow on my dice?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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