So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
