Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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