Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
