I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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