Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
