I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
