It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
