I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
