if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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