My boss' voice literally gives me gas
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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