Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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