ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
