So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
