it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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