I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
