I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
