the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
