we made out on top of his cat.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
