so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
