Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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