You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Randomize
