As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
