Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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