im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
only if we run a train.
done.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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