with your own penis?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
