i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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