But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
