i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
