I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
