Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
