He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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