Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
