WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
