Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
