He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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