PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
