Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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