No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
