Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
