I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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