I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
