You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
