Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
