is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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