So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
