Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
